Pseudoephedrine is the devil’s spawn

Man with cat up nose

Man-flu all week.  No running so fitness levels will have taken a dive.  But on the other hand not much in the way of eating and no drinking either so I might as well have been doing 10k’s every day this week as somehow 5lbs of bodyweight has been sweated or sneezed out of me since Sunday.

In my snotty, be-neurophened condition I made some interesting (some might say) observations which I will share with you.

1) Pseudoephedrine is the devil’s spawn.  Pills or mixtures containing this stuff have no place in my body.  It may dry up your sinuses but it also turns flu-victims into the walking dead.  It messes with your brain by making you think you can speak to clients on the phone only to find out mid-way through a conversation you cannot form a sentence.  It robs you of your sleep and your sanity.  Avoid it.

2) Daytime television serves no purpose whatsoever.  Not that long ago we would have been right to criticise our American cousins for having too much pap on their channels but now we are catching up fast.  A slice through the available channels right now (12.30pm) offers Bargain Hunt, Loose Women, Country House Rescue and Nanny 911.  That kind of media diet WITH the Pseudoephedrine is enough to make you reach for a kitchen knife/lose the will to live/go back to work anyway and share your plague with colleagues whether they like it or not.

3) Cures do not work but it can be fun trying them.  I must have received a hundred offers of cures ranging from a) Feed a cold (not very easy when you have completely lost your appetite) b) drink honey and lemon with whiskey c) drink whiskey with milk (just bleargh!) d) Drink Whiskey e) Fight it! (get up and carry on with your day as if nothing happened and ignore your searing temperature and all other less savoury symptoms).

4) Family sympathy lasts two days. Flu lasts about four.

Anyway four days on I’m almost human again and wonder what all the fuss was about.  I do however have a lot of work to catch up on and a few brownie points to earn back…

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