Aaaaagh! I can’t take any more! I don’t know who to be loyal to any more. I love you all as much as each other and you’ve been kind to me over the years! If you all ask me to be loyal to you then I have to choose one of you some of the time and the other some of the time and, well, it’s just impossible to be fair.
So I say to all my many lovers, and love me they indeed do.
I’m torn. I just can’t be loyal to so many loyalty cards all of the time. In my wallet I have Nectar for BP petrol, Shell for Shell petrol, Boots Advantage for pharmacy stuff, but I like the lady who runs my local independent chemist. I have a Tesco Club card and a Waitrose something else card, a bank that offers me discounts on store purchases if I use them and another that offers me more Nectar Points if I use them. I’d be fine just spreading the load each week across them both except it’s not that simple. If I bought them all online I’d get a different discount scheme (depending on which credit card I chose or maybe I do Paypal?) and when it comes to buying stationery and products for my burgeoning home office I have a Staples Loyalty card too and DON’T START ME ON AIRMILES!…
I love it that I get discounts on stuff it’s just that I can’t manage my discount/loyalty matrix any more. I have Loyalty burnout. I don’t delete emails from Wiggle and Audiobooks because I just might use that voucher one day. One day before…ooops, it’s expired.
Now I’m not one to be defeated by a simple challenge like a long run or steep hill. I have learned to overcome obstacles and challenges in my now oh-so-many years which have ranged from paedophilic school art masters to ridiculous sales targets in my corporate career. I have created the answer to all this monitoring of multiple loyalty account statuses: you lot just reduce your prices.